“But he won’t stop crying. I think something’s wrong that we can’t see.”
Those were the exact words that frantically flew out of my mouth after we rushed our newborn son to the doctor when he wouldn’t stop crying. For weeks.
After looking him over, the doctor (who was an army physician in his past life and had likely seen more terrifying things than a tired urban mom with a crying baby) looked at us and smiled. He told us about how newborns are fussy, some more than others, and that he’d grow out of it in a month or two. My husband and I looked at each other, and gave each other a look of embarrassment.
And I realized that I’d unlocked my first motherhood badge: “Expectations 101: You Can’t Control Anything.”
Before becoming a mother, I had everything figured out: a great job, a nice rhythm to my marriage, and a hilariously thorough self-care plan. And while I wasn’t naive to the fact that this would change when my son was born, my expectations were pretty unrealistic.
Those first weeks with a newborn were a shitshow. In addition to the non-stop crying, I was riding the roller coaster of postpartum hormones. I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the person I saw. I spent most nights scouring the internet for tips on soothing him while simultaneously being reminded by everyone about how fast time flies when you have a child (thanks!). Although I worked to hold onto some semblance of my old lifestyle, it faded as I focused on basic survival most days.
This sort of trial-by-fire is a common rite of passage for a new mom. But I quickly learned that as regularly as my child changed, I would too.
So as I began to dig myself out of the hazy newborn phase, I focused on creating my new lifestyle. I figured out what I’d need to do take care of myself (Exercise 4-5 times a week! A face mask every three days! Smoothies for breakfast!) and talked about how to make it happen with the people around me. And eventually, the more consistently I did these things, the more I relaxed. I began to let go of what I couldn’t control, trust myself as a mother and began to truly be present to this fleeting time in my life.
These experiences got my mind churning and my heart burning. There's endless information out there for how to take care of a child - but what about for taking care of those who are raising children themselves?
I'm passionate about working with other mothers and mothers-to-be who are looking to live confident, whole lives - aware and fulfilled during the wild ride of raising children. Whether you’re preparing for your first child or living with teenagers, I want to help you stay connected to yourself as an individual with needs, desires and personal goals.
A bit more about me:
I live in Boston with my husband and the tiny guy that made me a mama. I received my coaching education from the Institute of the Professional Education of Coaching (iPEC) and have a degree in Anthropology from the University of Pennsylvania. I am a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index and have over ten years of experience helping organizations make changes. In my “free time,” I love making messes in my kitchen, taking solo trips to the grocery store, texting my friends about our kids, running and snuggling with my boys.